Prayer as an Honest Conversation
How to be genuine in our conversation with our Creator
Throughout the musical, Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye constantly talks to God. He is often complaining, pleading or venting, but there is an intimacy to his conversation with God, even when’s he’s frustrated or angry. It’s clear Tevye has a relationship with God. He knows God is with him even when he feels God isn’t being very helpful.
Prayer is about consciously tending to the presence of God. It’s being in a state of communion with our Creator. It’s acknowledging and including God in our lives. This includes conversing with our Creator. So what should we talk to God about?
Paul says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.” (Philippians 4:6) A life of prayer is conversing with God about everything.
This is quite a gift when you think about it. Imagine having someone to talk to about anything and everything, and they actually listen. They don’t judge, they don’t interrupt you or skip over your stuff to talk about their own stuff. They patiently and actively listen. They care. That’s rare. That’s God. The Creator actually cares about your stuff. (I Peter 5:7)
Now some of you may be wondering, “If it’s a conversation - why doesn’t God talk to us? It kind of feels like God is giving us the silent treatment?”
That’s a fair question.
The answer is God is communicating with us. Always. The problem is we’re usually the friend in the relationship that’s too busy talking and thinking about our own stuff and not listening. We have to listen intently for God’s part of the conversation.
The Bible tells us the voice of God is like the sound of sheer silence. (I Kings 19:12)
You have to really listen. You have to create space for God in your awareness. If you can’t sense God’s communication, you might ask yourself, “Am I really listening? Am I paying attention?”
As you actively listen and tend to God’s Presence, you begin to realize God communicates in many ways. An interesting experiment is to go through the Bible and record all the different ways God communicates to people. It’s amazing how diverse God’s methods of communication are. God communicates through a donkey, burning shrubbery, coloured gems and the ghost of a dead prophet, to name a few of the stranger examples. God often communicates through angels, dreams, colours, numbers, words, symbols…all kinds of ways. But the clearest and most common way God communicates to us is through Scripture.
If you’re not hearing from God, you might want to start reading your Bible.
Billions of people have heard and continue to hear from God through Scripture. In powerful ways. Life changing ways. Orthodox Christianity views the Bible as God’s part of the conversation - and prayer is our part. Scripture is not the only way, but it’s a primary way God communicates with us.
Think about it this way, if you aren’t actively listening to what God has already communicated to you through Scripture, you’re ignoring God.
It’s as important to listen to God as it is to talk to God. This is essential for genuine prayer. Yet, regarding our part of the conversation, we must be wary of focusing on finding the right words or using too many words.
Jesus says, “When you pray, do not babble on like pagans, for they think that by their many words they will be heard. Do not be like them, for your Creator knows what you need before you ask.” (Matthew 6:7-8)
Why does Jesus warns us about using too many words when we pray?
Genuine prayer is rooted in faith. Faith means trust. Faith is trusting God already knows what you need - and that God will provide.
When you start using a lot of words, or try to find the right words, or the right formula - you are now trusting in the words of your prayer - rather than God.
Many of us are guilty of this. Thinking that if we pray the right way - or pray hard enough - with enough faith - then we will get that job, or our child will be healed, or we’ll get whatever outcome it is we desire. That’s not healthy prayer. Praying in faith is trusting God loves you. God wants the best for you. And that God is already acting in your best interest.
True faith is knowing we don’t have to convince God of anything.
When we get into the mindset of using words to convince God to do what we want - our prayer is actually a manifestation of our doubt - not our faith. We doubt God is actually interested in our wellbeing. We doubt God is already acting in our best interest. So we have to convince God.
The prayer of faith is trusting God. Trusting God loves us and wants the best for us. Trusting God is already acting in our best interest.
Now to clarify, Jesus isn’t saying if you’ve had a hard day, don’t talk to God for too long about that. Wrap it up. Keep it brief. God’s busy. God doesn’t have time to listen to all your stuff. No. Jesus is condemning the utilization of many words or the right words to convince God to do something. Because this reveals our motivation is manipulation and control.
Jesus is telling us not to use words - to try to use God.
Say you really want God to help you get a job and do well in a job interview. Let God know your desires, talk to God about your fears, talk to God about everything and anything. Be open and honest. That’s healthy conversation. But don’t try to manipulate or coerce God into making a particular outcome happen. That’s not faith. That’s not tending to the relationship. That’s trying to use God.
Have you ever had a relationship with someone and the only time they talk to you, or are nice to you, is when they want something? As soon as they start paying attention to you or complimenting you - you know immediately. “Oh boy, they clearly want something.” Well God knows a lot of people like that.
Trying to use others, including God, is not the basis of - or a reflection of - a healthy relationship. Prayer is about cultivating and nurturing a healthy relationship.
So how are we to express our needs and desires without trying to use or manipulate God? Let me conclude with a prayer - an honest and real conversation with God - by the Trappist monk Thomas Merton. See how he is being honest and open. How he asks God for guidance and support without trying to use or coerce God to do what he wants. Notice the element of faith and trust in God in this prayer.
“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
This is a beautiful example of prayer as an honest conversation. Prayer is in part, a conversation with God. About life - about everything. It’s a powerful way of tending to our relationship with God. Knowing that if we are real with God, God will be real to us. God will listen to us - including our needs, desires, frustration, complaints, confusion and doubts, without judgment. And God will walk with us. Always.